Wednesday's almost done....It's all down-hill from here...

Well, as I sit here reflecting on this past week, some things I've done good, and some things have not been so good.

Good thing #1: I've made it to Cardinal Fitness Sunday through today....focusing solely on Cardio. The elliptical I find kicks my ass a heck of a lot more that the treadmill at this point. I think it's a good to mix up the machines just to give myself variety. I've only been doing 20 minutes at a crank, but it's been a GOOD 20 minutes.

The treadmill has been good too....one day I even ran again for 30 seconds....not much but it's something, right? I want to get to the point where I can run longer. I admit, I have runners envy - when I see people at a good clip on the treadmill or jogging outside, I always have the feeling of, "Man, I used to to be in that club...running free...taking in the outdoors...." Now I watch them, feeling like I've been kicked out of the club and it's all my own damn fault. It's weird, but I WANT to run again. Hopefully someday I'll be in that elite club. :)

Good thing #2: I've cut down on the Fat Free Vanilla Lattes.....Actually the last 3 days, I've cut them out completely. I've switched to iced green tea...And I LOVE the Caffeine too...I know, I know...I gotta cut that out too ;)

Semi-good thing #3: Yesterday and today I was EXTREMELY stressed out....and as I was talking to a good friend of mine about some options I might have, I walked into the Sussex rec center where I teach guitar, and they had two bowls of candy on the counter. I walked up to them and then walked away from them two or three times....until the stress built up in me and I went up to the counter and I ate three sour cherry balls. Then I walked away, came back, and had two pieces of hard candy. I almost went back to the bowl to grab a roll of smarties (pure sugar which would be just as good injected directly into my arse) but I was able to step away from the counter and resist the urge to eat one roll which most likely would have lead to two and then ten.....So, even though I succumbed to my addiction (to call it by any other name would be lying to myself) I was able to walk away instead of crashing and burning. See what I mean - semi-good thing. ;)

I need to keep trying to learn more about the way my brain processes things and deals with stress. I'm guessing it will eventually get to the point where I should go talk to a trained professional, but I've been down that road and wasn't very successful. I'll just keep reading, and surfing the net looking for answers praying to God for clarity the whole time. Without God, I know I don't have a chance of beating this; but I do know that with him all things are possible. I think I'm learning that through these trials and tribulations my faith will grow stronger both in God and Myself. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Well, tomorrow night is band practice, so I will be skipping cardinal tomorrow. I am putting it in my calendar to go both Friday and Saturday to make it 6 days of cardio. I had to go to urgent care last Friday for my wrist which I hurt moving some boxes. I'm supposed to be resting it and hopefully the strain will get better. Next week I want to do some light resistance training and get into doing some weights. I have to be careful though so I don't do any permanent damage.

I guess that's about it for today - time to shower and get to bed. I'm pooped. I'm making a promise to myself to keep working at staying strong and being the best me I can be hour to hour, day to day.

Much Love,
Tommy